


It’s a F*cking Wonderful Life

by AcidicVermin9



Category: Asuras Bride (Webcomic), Midnight Poppy Land (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blood and Violence, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff and Angst, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:20:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 10,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28323006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AcidicVermin9/pseuds/AcidicVermin9
Summary: Tora discovers what life would like if he was never born.  A play on the holiday classic “It’s a Wonderful Life.”  Contains some references to AB. Has not been beta read.  Comments appreciated!
Relationships: Quincey Balthuman/Tora, Tora/Poppy Wilkes, Vincent Balthuman/Tora
Comments: 32
Kudos: 61





	1. ENOUGH!

**Author's Note:**

> Blessings to you all as I have finalized this quasi-holiday related fanfic, my first! I had previously asked for feedback on the MPL Facebook groups, so i thank those of you who did! Not only is it based on MPL, it has a few Asuras Bride elements to it as well. Be warned—I have not had anyone beta read this, and I’m notorious for problems with tense shifts. No smut, minor fluff, but lots of Tora’s potty mouth, references to violence and clan life, sexual assault is inferred, one minor spoiler for season 1 finale, and characters and settings all based upon the works of Lilydusk.

That one f*cking horrible night, that night of hell, just as Tora got home, Quincey began texting him to do some f*cking fancy ass shit with him early the next day, and he texted back a simple “NO.” F*ck, Princess knew that Vincent was monopolizing him these days.

Gyu texted him several updates on some other project. He left them on “READ.” 

There were a few missed calls from Lane. F*ck that. I am NOT talking to her, not tonight. 

Bobby checked in as usual by text, and he sent a quick “home safe sweetheart” and left it at that. They had a pattern, really. She knew he wasn’t talkative, especially via text, but he did he best to tell her every time he worked on Clan shit that he was home safe.

But then, suddenly, the dings of received texts on his phone erupted, relentless—again. With a huge groan, all he had to do was look down to confirm who sent them at such an unforgivable hour: Motherf*cking Vincent.

ENOUGH! Tora yelled at the top of his lungs. He was at an honest to f*cking goddamn breaking point. And he snapped. He threw his phone so hard, it shattered into pieces. He panted in frustration, and then collapsed, sitting on his ass on the parking garage floor, nearby his apartment house, at buttf*cking 3 in the morning, feet flat on the floor, elbows on his knees, with his head hanging between them. He was DONE. 

He knew it was all too good to be true. He had been coming off the high he had after the joint birthday party with Poppy, but that euphoria only lasted him so long. Sure, there were some tense moments between the two of them, then, but he still had hope. And he was surprised and touched at her wanting to wear his ring on a chain around her neck. F*ck, even thinking of her—at all—always helped, of course, but…

Clan life came screaming back for him, practically instantaneously. Vincent became relentless, putting him to work for several days in a row, having Tora running all kinds of errands, and he was so exhausted, he barely had time to think or even sleep. He hadn’t even seen Quincey since the party. In fact, Quince had to bring in a backup bodyguard to take him to his regular Goldfish Publishing jaunts. Vincent was insistent that Tora could not be spared for the relatively tame task of being Quincey’s bodyguard. That was a blow, as Tora had been looking forward to all those opportunities to see Bobby much more frequently. Again, she texted him a lot, disappointed in not seeing him, and those cryptic responses to her were typical but necessary, to spare her the f*cking gruesome details of what had been happening lately, not that he shared any of that hot mess with her anyways.

But the last “errand” for Vincent had to be one of the worst he’s ever had to do. A rather large and successful restaurant (no, not the Black Swan, not that f*cking posh) was behind on Clan payments, and in fact, the owner was someone Tora knew very well, and f*ck he did NOT want to do it. But he had to. While he had been biding his time until he could find a way out of the Clan—if he could make it in the next few years without being executed himself—even the most heinous of shit still had to be done, no matter what he thought or if he cared, whether or not it was the most repugnant thing Vincent wanted. He couldn’t blow his mafia cover.

Tora was simply beyond tired of the violent drudgery. He was still capable of doing the necessary work to get that last mortal pound of flesh Vincent insisted upon, but something just snapped in him, especially after this most recent one, and definitely after those f*cking texts began again. He was more than his f*cking fists, goddammit. 

It was in a very weak moment that he screamed his childhood refrain aloud, “Ishrikhara! I don’t want to do this anymore! I wish I had never been born!” This simple childhood lament was something he periodically exclaimed to himself, mostly, he had mumbled it when he was alone, young, starved, in a cage, but especially when the work for the Clan was rough. It was a mere momentary thought, just a silly thing he repeated only once in a while, during rare particular moments of fatigue, when the blood dripped off him, and he never had any idea why he invoked the name of the old Fallen Angel. This time though it was probably because he just visited the Fallen Angel club. But otherwise, he hadn’t thought of Ishrikhara for a very long time; why he said the name—out loud—he just had no idea but he was so tired. He didn’t even have the energy to get up off the parking garage floor. He felt himself drift off to sleep, furious, upset, and just so f*cking tired.


	2. If He’s Not the Fallen Angel, Who the F*ck is This Guy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a long night, Tora gets locked out of his apartment. When he goes to visit Quincey to get a spare key, things get interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story continues!! To reiterate, I had previously asked for feedback on the MPL Facebook groups, so I thank those of you who did! Not only is it based on MPL, obviously, it has a few Asura’s Bride elements to it as well.
> 
> Our mystery man you will meet in this chapter? If you haven’t guessed who he might be, find him in Chapter/Episode Six of Asura’s Bride! I have started to use some Japanese labels/words for things, and these will be peppered throughout the story. 
> 
> Again, not beta read. No smut, minor fluff, but lots of Tora’s potty mouth, references to violence and clan life, sexual assault is inferred, one minor spoiler for season 1 finale, and characters and settings all based upon the works of Lilydusk.
> 
>  _Degei_ \- as used in Asura’s Bridge by Lilydusk = “Younger Brother”
> 
>  _Ani_ \- per Google, mean’s “Brother”

Someone was laying on their horn, beeping loudly, jerking Tora awake. He had been asleep for awhile, and morning was just starting to paint the sky pink and yellow. He glanced over where he regretfully threw his phone, and surprisingly, there was no evidence of it.

_What the f*ck?_

He could have sworn he threw it last night. What f*cking _ever_. He got up off his ass, and started walking over to the stairs, to drudge himself up the six flights of stairs to his apartment.

He got to his door, but weirdly, he could not find his keys in his pockets. He sighed, then, and knew he’d have to walk over to Quincey’s penthouse to get the spare key he kept there for just such emergencies. He hoped the f*cker was there and awake. It was unlikely, but he didn’t have a choice.

It seemed to take him f*cking forever to walk over to Quincey’s building, and as he arrived, he went into the main lobby to the bank of elevators. He hit the up arrow, and after the doors opened quickly right in front of him, he then got in, hitting the button for the top floor. But just as the elevator doors closed, an arm shot through, and the elevator doors opened again.

_Huh._

Then, a really frigging weird looking dude got onto the elevator with him. He looked like he was one of those nerdy shits—what did they call them playcosts, costplays? He was wearing some sort of f*cked up tunic that frankly looked like a fancy-ass bathrobe, that is shit you do NOT see every day—certainly no hoodie and jeans, that’s for sure. Whatever. The dude was solid, very close to Tora’s height, but a bit fat, no—rather a bit _chonky_. He had braids in his hair, not unlike the one’s Bobby gave him at Regina’s Peak, with a thin goatee on his chin. He gave Tora a broad smile, and said something that made him pause.

“Greetings, Degei!”

At this, Tora slowly turned to look at the f*ck, and gave him his patent creepy ass stare. After a few heartbeats, the chonky dude spoke again.

“Oh, that’s right, forgive me—you’re not him. Greetings, young one. I have to say you are the spitting image of my younger brother. It’s breathtaking!”

_What the actual f*ck is this asshole babbling about?!?_

He decided then and there he was going to ignore this f*cking weirdo, and the elevator doors closed. At last, the car began to move upwards. But the cheerful f*ck started talking again.

“I have much to discuss with you. When this box stops moving upwards, and we can escape from it, you will need many things explained to you, many things indeed. Tell me when you are ready, Degei! It is quite a tale to tell you!”

_Who the f*ck is this guy???_

Never did traveling up in an elevator take so f*cking long. Not sure what the f*ck Degei might mean, but he could give a rat f*ck, cause he is losing this f*cker as soon as he got to Quincey’s place.

They arrived on the top floor, and Tora moved out of the elevator, quickly, not waiting for the fat f*ck to get out behind him. He wanted to put as much distance as possible between them. He walked over to Quincey’s door, and immediately started hammering on it. He knew he had to knock loudly, as it was more than likely that Quincey was fast asleep.

“OI! Open up Princess!” He yelled.

To his surprise, he did not have to wait long. He heard someone walking up to the door—and it sounded like the clicking of high heels which came to a quick stop. Whoever it was, they were likely looking out the peephole to see him standing there.

There were the sounds of locks turning, and then the door then slowly opened. In the doorway stood some middle-aged woman wearing a dark suit who he didn’t know, and she spoke to him, “Yes? May I help you?”

He was a bit speechless for a moment. _Who the f*ck was this??_

“Um, can you tell Quincey I’m here?”

“Who? I don’t know anyone named Quincey.”

Tora was just so f*cking tired, he could not tolerate the questions.

“He lives here. He’s lived here for years! Tell him to get his pansy-ass outta bed!” 

He moved to walk around this woman, no idea who the f*ck she was… a new Clan lawyer? Was she a civilian? She seemed awfully dressed up to be anything else. Anyways, he could give a rat f*ck.

But she stepped right in front of him to block his entry.

“Excuse me! I told you—I don’t know ANYONE named Quincey. And who are you? Do I need to call the police?”

He looked at her in utter shock. He didn’t know what the f*ck to say. She huffed at him, and gave him a nasty look. He took a step back, and she began mumbling something about him wasting her time, slamming the door in his face.

_What the actual f*ck was all THAT??_

“Degei! We must speak, now, before you do anything else! There is much you need to know.”

And the chonky guy was back, standing behind him.

Tora turned to him, and blurted out, “Who the f*ck are you, and what do you want?!?”

The fat bastard simply looked at Tora, with a smirk on his face.

“Did you not make a request to Ishrikhara? Did you not ask that you were never to be born?”

Tora was shocked. Uh, yeah, he did say that, but it was just a fucking stupid thing he said in frustration. It wasn’t any big f*cking deal. And this shit with Quince was a prank, right? He didn’t think it meant a goddamn thing. But he had to admit it.

“Yeah, I did, I guess…” he replied quietly.

“Come—let us find somewhere to sit and discuss what has come to pass. Much has to be revealed to you. Call me ANI—brother.”

Tora moved back to the elevator doors, preparing to go back downstairs. He couldn’t help but look back to the closed door of Quincey’s penthouse apartment. He was completely baffled. The elevator doors opened and they both got in.

F*CK@#


	3. Degei, Ani, Whoever you are…. I need some f*cking answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tora begins to learn the repercussions of his request.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story continues!! To reiterate, I had previously asked for feedback on the MPL Facebook groups, so I thank those of you who did! Not only is it based on MPL, obviously, it has a few Asura’s Bride elements to it as well.
> 
> Again, not beta read. No smut, minor fluff, but lots of Tora’s potty mouth, references to violence and clan life, sexual assault is inferred, one minor spoiler for season 1 finale, and characters and settings all based upon the works of Lilydusk.
> 
> More Japanese terms may start appearing, and will do my best to add them and their meaning to these notes.
> 
>  _Degei_ \- as used in Asura’s Bridge by Lilydusk = “Younger Brother”
> 
>  _Ani_ \- per Google, mean’s “Brother”
> 
> And yes, I stuck in a dig to Star Wars. HEHEHEHE

Tora got off the elevator, and the fat dude followed close behind him. 

“Ani” he said to call him? Whatever…

As they walked back through the lobby and towards the glass front doors, Tora glanced at his face starting back at him, and noticed out of the corner of his eye that there was something different in his appearance. He suddenly stopped, looking more closely at his reflection, at his neck and stilled. The brand. The f*cking Balthuman collar was no longer there. How many times did he wish for that? He was suddenly stunned, speechless.

“Ah, Degei, you finally noticed! You will notice all of your marks are now gone. You were never born, you were never consigned to the Clan, so you have no more ink.”

Tora quickly pushed up both his sleeves—his bare arms looked beyond pale to him. He stood there, staring at them for almost 15 minutes, before Ani cleared his throat, and Tora came out of his reverie. Ani gestured to him to move out the doors. So they both walked out onto the street. Tora thought hard about the hours he spent getting just those sleeves inked alone, what they stood for, what price he paid. F*cking _years_ of sitting for them. 

They then turned left, started moving south down the sidewalk. Tora had no idea where to go. Honestly after that crap with Quincey and now the disappearing tattoos, he was a bit distracted. They walked for some time, and then, finally, they came upon a small park, and sat down together on one of the benches there. Birds were chirping loudly in the trees around them, and the sounds of traffic were becoming louder and louder as the morning traffic picked up. 

Ani began to speak again.

“Degei, after what I just told you, can you understand why Quint Cey was not in the residence you visited?”

“A sick f*cking joke? I have no idea who that chick was, but she was playing me, I swear.”

“No, Degei. Remember—I told you: _**you were never born.**_ There have been repercussions as a result of this wish of yours. Because ‘never existing’ has had its impact. Quint Cey—“

“His NAME is Quincey.” Tora was annoyed at the mispronunciation.

“Yes, Quincey. Many apologies, Degei. Quincey is not the person you know, who you remember. To get to the point, nearly every part of your life is now quite contrary. Because it is no longer your life. But know that Ishrikhara has made sure I have gained the knowledge about the many facets of your previous life before I appeared to you. But I must warn you—so many things are now different. Please, kindly indulge me while I explain them to you.”

F*ck, he had nothing else to do.

“By all means, give it to me straight, _Anakin_.” Tora said this with a bit of venom, and he couldn’t wait to find out what shit this f*cker was gonna come up with. “I can’t wait to hear all about it.”

Ani laughed wholeheartedly at Tora’s response, and Tora rolled his eyes at the f*cker. _Could shit get any f*cking weirder?_

Will Ani give me a f*ck ton of wild shit, just the start to a laundry list of my life? His ledger was f*cking _full_. F*cking _overflowing_. This f*cking stuff, the audacity that his weird ass euphemism for ‘f*ck my life’ had any repercussions? F*ck, Tora was _floored._ He’ll probably start by explaining this shit with Quince. But first Anakin, Ani whatever his name was, gave Tora something he hadn’t even considered—a warning.

“Please bear with me, Degei, as there are many tales to retell, most with a different fate than you know. I will be as kind as I can be, but I warn you: you may become very troubled. Yes, many despised battles you fought never took place, and you may feel relieved. But...there are those conflicts you may believed to be defeats have now become conquests; and those you thought were victories are naught. Many savage things you never dreamed would happen have taken place. It will be brutal to learn these things. Do you wish me to proceed, Degei?”

Tora was dying for a cigarette, but his pockets were empty. He took a deep breath, and nodded slowly to Ani, consenting. 

“Ya, why not…” He felt so defeated anyways. How could it get any worse?


	4. How do I begin to explain this sh*t?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More divergent plot lines revealed, especially about Quincey and Goliath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story continues!! To reiterate, I had previously asked for feedback on the MPL Facebook groups, so I thank those of you who did! Not only is it based on MPL, obviously, it has a few Asura’s Bride elements to it as well.
> 
> Again, not beta read. No smut, minor fluff, but lots of Tora’s potty mouth, references to violence and clan life, sexual assault is inferred, one minor spoiler for season 1 finale, and characters and settings all based upon the works of Lilydusk.
> 
> NOTE: some of these chapters may be shorter, but I am trying to make logical breaks in the story. Stay tuned! ENJOY!
> 
> Japanese terms in this chapter:
> 
>  _Degei_ \- as used in Asura’s Bridge by Lilydusk = “Younger Brother”
> 
>  _Ani_ \- per Google, mean’s “Brother”
> 
>  _Otōsan_ \- per Google, Japanese for “father”
> 
>  _Namae_ \- per Google, Japanese for “name”
> 
>  _Sōzokujin_ \- per Google, Japanese for “heir”

“Your friend, your brother, Quincey, did not have the benefit of your protection as youngsters, growing up. You were not there to gain the rapt attention of Otōsan, Vint Cent? Yes, I believe that was his namae.”

Tora had been sitting, head hanging down, with his arms on his knees, feeling a bit dejected, but hearing that f*cker’s name invoked _definitely_ got his attention. 

“So, Quincey is now a _**true**_ Balthuman.”

Ani said this with pure and utter disgust. So far, the f*ck spoke so jovially, it was nauseating. But this? Completely different affect.

“What the f*ck does that mean?” Asked Tora.

“He was never coddled as a boy, and he was trained as you were to become a true Balthuman Sōzokujin, and of course he never became the ‘colorful’ scribe he became in your reality.”

“Huh,” said Tora.

Nothing shocking in that, he thought sarcastically. F*ck, that was basically Quincey’s ultimate nightmare, to be honest about it. 

“There is more,” said Ani. “He had his otōsan, Vint Cent, and the ones named Mart Ten and Smith Yey executed. Because of this, other Clan men gained a higher status. Names you know—Jo Steph, Starch, Claud De, and Damien are now top Balthuman lieutenants.”

Wow. Vincent, Martin, AND Smithy executed? F*ck em, thought Tora. Good f*cking riddance. Honestly, the mis-pronunciation of all the names was irritating as all f*ck, but this is really quite a hoot, so he waited for Ani to continue. And who the f*ck is Jo Steph?

“And a boy, no apologies, a young man who you know well, he has cobalt hair, you call him…Gol Liath? He became a focus of the otōsan’s interest, since you were not there. Gol Liath was chosen at that orphanage, since you were not there.”

Tora took this fact in. He didn’t really respond, so Ani continued.

“Quincey is his heir, but, well, this wild haired young man is now his dog, his Okuri Inu. He has some of the same, more fierce qualities you have always embodied, so he became deigned to be a beast, an animal. Yes, an enslaved Okuri Inu—like the dog demon that plagued us, your ancestors. Anyways, I wander!”

“Quincey encourages this man’s wicked savage ways. Just as Otōsan had you, Quincey now has Go Liath, becoming the clan’s top executioner - the Notorious Narin City Giant, they call him. He is renowned for his volatile temper, and his killing methods are legendary. He has bed many, many loose women, takes to drinking spirits to excess, and makes outrageous wagers, thus garnering debts beyond measure. His reckless nature is honestly a bit contrary to his effectiveness as chief Clan assassin. But he is … most deadly.”

Goliath, the little reckless f*cking bastard. What an utter f*cktwat. He has always had a huge chip on his shoulder, even before the notebook made its appearance. But Tora didn’t really say anything about this either. He waited for chonky Ani to continue. What else could this f*cker say to beat Goliath’s utter shit?


	5. Frankly? Narin City is hell on earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brief chapter, focusing on Narin City, and in this new reality? It is pretty much hell on earth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story continues!! To reiterate, I had previously asked for feedback on the MPL Facebook groups, so I thank those of you who did! Not only is it based on MPL, obviously, it has a few Asura’s Bride elements to it as well.
> 
> Again, not beta read. No smut, minor fluff, but lots of Tora’s potty mouth, references to violence and clan life, sexual assault is inferred, one minor spoiler for season 1 finale, and characters and settings all based upon the works of Lilydusk.
> 
> Japanese term in this chapter:
> 
> Ani - per Google, mean’s “Brother”
> 
> Warning: I should add a content warning for (GULP) at least one main character death (not depicted but referenced) in this chapter (some are in other chapters too), even though the fic has it tagged. Sad stuff indeed, but this is all part of the narrative, my friends!
> 
> This is a really short one, but i promise, the story gets better!

“This city, Narin City? You know it has been built on the grave of my own ancestral lands…” Ani stops momentarily, shaking his head, but continues on. 

“It may not seem it to you now, but vile corruption is even worse than you might ever have remembered. It is more than just Ares Street. The entire city, Narin City, is a Clan city.

Tora could not even in his wildest moments imagine what a whole city of gangsters, thugs, crime, and the Clan would be like. _Hell._

“Many of the places you knew—where you visited, you lived, you hid—they are simply gone or taken over as dens of decrepitude.”

 _Alice?_ What happened to her and Joe, then? Did he want to know? He didn’t think they could have made it if it were a Clan city.

“And this official you are in contact with, Lane? She remains a police officer, but she is in a dangerous position. She is quite bitter because her brother, Gyu, was killed by the Clan. So she still fights against it, as she had been doing in your world, but here and now? She has no one to help her in this fight. But, yes, the brother, Gyu? He met his fate, as you were not there to protect him, and Quincey, well, you already know about him, yes? So neither of you could save him.”

Tora stilled. _Ronzo_. F*ck. That smarted.

He was his friend, and has always been the most loyal of all his men, any Clan f*cking hierarchy or debts be damned. 

And the shit he had going on with Lane was so secret, only he knew all the details. He even kept part of what was going on from Ronzo himself. 

He found he didn’t want to know any more details about it, because he already could guess— _KNEW_ what happened—that—THAT shit? He and Quincey prevented it from ever happening, at least in his reality. 

_Victories that were now defeats?_ F*CK!* No shit, buddy.

After hearing about the whole Clan city shit, Tora noticed some the shit going on around them, where they were sitting.

On the benches surrounding the park, there were a lot of people sleeping. Like almost every bench was occupied. Huh. And even though it was still very early, there were some shady people standing across the street. Wha—

Ani continued. 

“But Lane, she and her enforcers, are powerless, because their pockets are lined with the green, the coin of the Clan. There is no way to fight them, so there is only compliance, or you disappear. So many of the corrupt rulers were never arrested.”

Tora just realized. Wait. If Goliath was the Clan’s executioner, what about the—

“Ah, you’ve caught up with me. Wonderful. Now, I know you’re wondering about the black tome.”


	6. That F*cking Notebook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brief one, again, discussing the importance of the notebook.... or rather the lack of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story continues!! To reiterate, I had previously asked for feedback on the MPL Facebook groups, so I thank those of you who did! Not only is it based on MPL, obviously, it has a few Asura’s Bride elements to it as well.
> 
> Again, not beta read. No smut, minor fluff, but lots of Tora’s potty mouth, references to violence and clan life, sexual assault is inferred, one minor spoiler for season 1 finale, and characters and settings all based upon the works of Lilydusk.
> 
> Japanese terms in this chapter:
> 
>  _Degei_ \- as used in Asura’s Bridge by Lilydusk = “Younger Brother”
> 
>  _Ani_ \- per Google, mean’s “Brother”
> 
>  _Josei_ \- per Google, mean’s “woman” (also per Wikipedia, a genre of manga focused on women’s interests)

Honestly, yes, Tora was indeed wondering about the illusive f*cking thing. It was a big f*cking deal. That notebook has been the biggest headache, and the goddamn thing was still M.I.A. 

“It is rather plain to state, Degei. You just learned the status of Narin City, it’s corruption. Go Liath being the Clan executioner. There is no black tome, there never was. Thus, it was never discovered by the young josei, Poppylan.”

Now _that_ part of this whole wild story is a bit of a relief. But even though that f*cking notebook caused him so much grief... it also brought him Bobby.

“So Poppy’s life wasn’t ever put into any danger from the Clan then…” Tora responds. 

“Ah, true. But there are many things that are not the same for the josei. Poppylan’s life most definitely has wavered from what you know of it.”

_Wha— Isn’t she safe? Wouldn’t that make her life better?_

Tora gives Ani a look. “Go on.”

“Right. First, she still finds her lover in the arms of another, causing her much distress.”

“That cheating f*ck, Julri.” Tora growls and grits his teeth. Hearing that name always makes Tora see RED. He clenched his fists automatically. _As if that’s the only f*cking thing that rat bastard did to her._

“She still has the most unfortunate accident in the Moonbright village near the train station. She still travels back to this loud noisy awful city after it’s trauma. She was also still employed in her work on manuscripts, at least for a short time. But her situation, her life…diverges from what you might recall. Indeed, she never discovers the black tome, and she never meets _you_ , Degei.”

Tora quiets, his emotionless mask returning to his face, displayed for this Ani guy’s benefit. But he can’t help but return to all those times he thought she’d be better off not knowing him, claimed that she needed to stay out of his life and away from the Clan, and tried to stay away from her—became all too….too much. And he honestly felt sad. He forced himself to listen more, keeping in mind how many times he repeated these silly mantras to himself and honestly thought, again, OK. She’s gotta be so much better off then.

“Because there is no black book, no corruption is exposed. Of course it doesn’t seem like the level of corruption might matter, but it does, as I just explained. Even now, there are murmurs, grumbles of dissatisfaction. It might even be said that an alternate notebook might being scribed as we speak, by this Lane detective.” 

“Tch,” exclaimed Tora. _Not touching that_ \- Lane is a tough cookie, after all. I have no doubt she’s got something cooking.

“Where before there was a new clan, among many threatening the Balthuman reign, there are now only mere whispers of dissent. But no book, not yet at least. Even if it were here, you were not around to seek it out, and you do not meet _her_.”

Tora never, EVER wanted to think what would have happened if anyone else other than him had gone looking for that notebook, meeting Poppy. Finding _her_. But going back to what he has always thought, those thoughts—that she would be better off not meeting him, knowing him, that he ruined her life. So, with no notebook? 

“That means her life is better… right?”


	7. Divergence does not equal f*cking bliss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby had to better off without finding that f*cking notebook.... right? Short but sweet chapter again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story continues!! To reiterate, I had previously asked for feedback on the MPL Facebook groups, so I thank those of you who did! Not only is it based on MPL, obviously, it has a few Asura’s Bride elements to it as well.
> 
> Again, not beta read. No smut, minor fluff, but lots of Tora’s potty mouth, references to violence and clan life, sexual assault is inferred, one minor spoiler for season 1 finale, and characters and settings all based upon the works of Lilydusk.
> 
> Japanese terms in this chapter:
> 
>  _Degei_ \- as used in Asura’s Bridge by Lilydusk = “Younger Brother”
> 
>  _Ani_ \- per Google, mean’s “Brother”
> 
> _Josei_ per Google, mean’s “woman” (also per Wikipedia, a genre of manga focused on women’s interests)
> 
> _Koibito_ \- per Google, means “lover” or “sweetheart” 
> 
> _Neko_ \- per Google, means “cat”

He honestly thought she would be so much better off having never met him or knowing about the mafia and the Clan. F*ck was he _wrong_? Ani continued, telling him more about Bobby. 

“After she departs from her dishonest koibito, her spirited ways—that which you so admire about her—began to wane greatly. She has become a mere ghost of who she once was, Degei.”

_No more feisty hamster?_

“But Poppylan still has a kind heart after all she has been through. She still tried to save the white neko out of the old tree in the city, and yes, the branch she crawled out onto does indeed break. She had a great fall, and became afflicted and bed ridden for a spell, as you were not there to catch her. She is affected in other ways as well, and in time, she recovers, but at a cost. She could not work as much as she was asked to.”

That fated scene played through his head again. That impetuous little shit. Wearing _his_ hoodie, no less. Of all the random places he went that day in search of food, it had to be right smack _there_ , to find _her_. He always felt that incident was more prophetic than not, like he was meant to rescue her, in more ways than one, he wistfully thought. 

“And she lost parts of an important manuscript to be delivered to her employer. Pages you so quaintly returned to her.” Ani smiled knowingly at him. 

_No paper airplane_... That moment in time, forever seared into his memory.

He takes a huge breath, and he remembers her stunning beauty revealed to him as she leapt up and down to catch that paper airplane he threw at her, especially when he snapped _that_ picture. Hell, he was already f*cking fully enthralled by her, right from the moment she emerged unexpectedly from the bushes. But when she jumped, busting out of her shirt? F*ck… Yeah, he did delete the pic off his phone for _her_ , but damn if that image isn’t a permanent imprint on his goddamn brain for all f*cking time. Then, just as Tora finished recounting this crucial moment in time and its revered spot banked in his memories of her, Ani started talking again.

“As a result, she missed her first big deadline, and it was a disappointing start for her. It did not help her gain her verve back, her spark. It only made it fade all the more.”

“She does meet with that gentleman, this Mr. Lamb, at that eating establishment. Those evil men elope with him, and despite Poppy’s efforts to follow, she cannot find him because of her wounds, and because you were not there with her, _for_ her.”

This brought forth a pang, a longing for her—and a flashback to Tora’s favorite memory from that day—yet another time she found her way back to him. But f*ck, that moment on the stairway? The feel of her fingers as she moved those strands of hair out of his eyes, to behind his ear, then down his cheek? He’d never felt such an intimate touch before in his entire life. He placed his hand on his cheek, and sighed out loud at this memory. Enough of this horseshit. He knew then he had to see her.


	8. Absence makes the heart go BA-DUMP

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tora becomes frantic to find Poppy, and doesn’t like what he finds in the first place he looks. At all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story continues!! To reiterate, I had previously asked for feedback on the MPL Facebook groups, so I thank those of you who did! Not only is it based on MPL, obviously, it has a few Asura’s Bride elements to it as well.
> 
> Again, not beta read. No smut, minor fluff, but lots of Tora’s potty mouth, references to violence and clan life, sexual assault is inferred, one minor spoiler for season 1 finale, and characters and settings all based upon the works of Lilydusk.
> 
> Japanese terms in this chapter:
> 
>  _Degei_ \- as used in Asura’s Bridge by Lilydusk = “Younger Brother”
> 
>  _Ani_ \- per Google, mean’s “Brother”
> 
>  _Josei_ \- per Google, mean’s “woman” (also per Wikipedia, a genre of manga focused on women’s interests

So before he could think any more about her or even listen to f*cking Anakin continue, he jumped up.

 _Forget this f*cking alternate reality garbage._

After all he heard—about Gyu, Goliath, Quincey, f*ck, even _Vincent_ , he was _done_. Even though he had a nagging sense of doom that something was horribly wrong, he realized right there and then he had to see her, to know—to make sure she was okay. 

At this time of day, he knew she was awake and getting ready for work, so he may be able to catch her before she rode the bus to Goldfish. F*ck if only he had his phone to text her first. 

Ani somehow knew what he was doing. Tora took off at a brisk pace, practically a jog. He honestly thought he could get there faster if he ran, than if he got a cab, or go back into his car. But then remembered his keys were missing anyways.

As they both jogged at a steady pace, Ani continued his narrative.

“The josei had no further contact with the Lamb gentleman—because you were never there to track him down for her.”

“Ya think?” Tora kept right on jogging.

A block or two went by, and then Ani spoke again.

“You must know by now that the cascade of change undulates like a wave in a koi pond. The ‘butterfly effect.’ One thing becomes changed, thus so do so many others, even if they may seem insignificant before, and so on and so forth.”

Tora had no clue how long they had been running, but they were getting close to Poppy’s neighborhood. Tora suddenly increased his speed and lengthened his gait. Chonky dude was running right along with him—and kept right on talking. Tora was surprised that for such a thick dude, Ani was more than adept at keeping pace with him, and could talk with no breathlessness. _Damn, that f*cker is in better shape than I thought._ Then, for some strange reason, he felt an increased sense of urgency, feeling almost panicked. He picked up his pace even more.

“The young lad, Benjamin, is killed as well, as Poppy wasn’t there to rescue him, either. Benjamin again confronts the first Clan members he finds inside this Club Miracle place. He is mortally wounded, dragged out to the curb, and left to bleed to death. He is later found dead, floating in the river. It also appears that the mother’s debt to the Clan doubled immediately, and her sad life drags on.”

Just as Ani finishes this part of his chronicle, Tora sprints around the corner onto Poppy’s street. _Almost there._

But just as he gets within about a hundred yards, he skids to a complete stop.

_What the f*ck?!_ Where Poppy’s apartment building once stood, there was now an empty lot.

Tora just stands there, panting, reeling at this—in place of the building he expected to see, there’s…nothing, not even the fence is still standing. His feelings of dread suddenly increased exponentially. 

“Remember—the brutal things you may not want to know? Yes, Poppy did live there. Of course it was not ideal for her. This domicile was full of women who sold their bodies, drug abusers, Clan thugs—but she lost her manuscript work anyways and had to leave. It was only recently that the building was condemned and torn down.”

No building, no apartment—no balcony—full of life, plants all gone—that crummy little studio apartment had always been so full of _her_.

That balcony, where he grabbed her hand that crazy night, and it felt so natural, so f*cking good, and had given him just an inkling of hope of any other life, especially outside of the Clan. 

The rooftop, where she gave him that peck, that wonderful sweet kiss.

The cramped living room, where she served him that tiger rice ball—where he knew he had already fallen for her completely and utterly, and fell HARD, no matter what else really happened after that. He knew this now. 

“Where? Where is she now?” Tora then grabbed Ani’s lapels roughly, demanding to know where he could find her. His heart was pounding so f*cking hard. He knew he was rapidly becoming irrational in his need to get to her.

_Where the f*ck is Bobby?!?_

“Easy, Degei, easy. She is in Moonbright. The only way to get there is by rail car. Let us depart for the rail station, post haste.”


	9. “Well, train, train, take me on out of this town” (Blackfoot, “Train Train”)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tora goes in search of Bobby, by train, and learns more that went horribly wrong along the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story continues!! To reiterate, I had previously asked for feedback on the MPL Facebook groups, so I thank those of you who did! Not only is it based on MPL, obviously, it has a few Asura’s Bride elements to it as well.
> 
> Again, not beta read. No smut, minor fluff, but lots of Tora’s potty mouth, references to violence and clan life, sexual assault is inferred, one minor spoiler for season 1 finale, and characters and settings all based upon the works of Lilydusk.
> 
> Japanese terms in this chapter:
> 
>  _Degei_ \- as used in Asura’s Bridge by Lilydusk = “Younger Brother”
> 
>  _Ani_ \- per Google, means “Brother”
> 
>  _Josei_ \- per Google, means “woman” (also per Wikipedia, a genre of manga focused on women’s interests)
> 
>  _Nīsan_ \- per Google, means “older brother”
> 
>  _Koibito_ \- per Google, means “lover” or “sweetheart”

Not more than a minute later, a weird ass funny looking little car pulls up to them on Poppy’s street, and another odd character reveals himself, sitting in the driver’s seat of this f*cking micro car. The f'igure sitting behind the wheel rolls down his window. This guy looks like a skinnier older version of the chonky dude. Ani acts pleased to see him. 

“Ah, Nīsan, you have arrived at a most auspicious time! Quickly, we must get Degei to the rail station!” Ani walks over the car, and he and this guy have a short conversation, look over at Tora, and then wait for him to come over and get in. 

They climb in, with Ani in the passenger seat and Tora taking up the entire backseat, but only barely fitting. _F*ck._ Tora started losing the feeling in his feet. 

Ani’s chattering continued, and even though he was completely distracted by his need to get to Poppy, Tora couldn’t help but become engrossed in the continued drama that Ani recounted as he spoke up yet again.

“The josei, she did not learn what happened to Lamb until he was discovered, slaughtered most brutally. This was simply devastating for her—it was supposed to be her big opportunity; thus, it was a huge blow to Poppy’s continued engagement with this Goldfish Publishing place. She was already in a dire situation after missing the deadline from the week before, and after her injury, which in case you didn’t know, Degei, kept her from completing her tasks.”

A few heartbeats passed, and then Ani continued. 

“Her employer did not get the big investment they had hoped for from Lamb, and the company eventually closed its operations. And as I already shared, Quint Tet is now the heir of the Balthuman Clan, and never became the well-liked scribe you know.”

Ani looked back at him, but Tora was speechless at this point. Ani spoke yet again.

“Those ripples in the koi pond, Degei. Poppylan did not save Benjamin, so she never meets Quint Tet either. Regardless, we know that Quint Tet was never a tutor either. So there are no connections for you to make for her...at all, desired or not, disputed or not—those that honestly benefited your sweet Josei greatly.”

They rode silently for another 20 minutes, or so, and finally, they arrived at the train station. Tora managed to push himself back out of the micro car’s back seat, stretching his legs and cracking his neck. Ani speaks briefly with Nīsan, locking eyes with each other, and then look back over at Tora for a brief spell, just as they did before. Ani then gets out of the passenger seat, moving away from the car towards Tora, then the little car slowly drives away.

Tora never really talks to the older guy, but he begins feeling grateful for this weird f*ckers help. 

Since Tora’s wallet was gone, f*ck if he knew who they were going to get on the train to Moonbright. But Ani surprisingly pulled out funds out of a pouch on his belt, enough to pay for two train tickets to Moonbright. F*ck if he knew how this chonky dude got any money, but he didn’t care. His impulse to get to Poppy, _his_ Poppy was becoming maddening. He had to see her, f*ck every other piece of horseshit this Ani f*ck fed him. 

They waited for the next train leaving for Moonbright, and quickly boarded when it arrived at the station from its previous departure point. The two men took random seats and settled in for the long ride. Ani waited awhile, and then asked Tora, “Do you wish me to continue Degei?”

Tora could only nod his consent, he felt like a basket case at this point. 

“Poppylan is not the same woman, Degei. She no longer works on manuscripts. She has lost her home. She has lost everything, so she indeed returns to Moonbright. She becomes discouraged, and loses her will. She believes she was never really meant to work in the big city.”

Tora keeps listening. A small part of him doesn’t care about some of this, as long as Poppy is safe, away from the Clan, away from danger. But somehow he knows there is more to it. He braces himself, knowing that something big is going to be revealed to him.

“She moved back to Moonbright, and lives with her grandmother. She actually reunites with her koibito, but he…” Ani then hesitates, because he knows this will not be received well.

“What?” says Tora.

Ani is quiet, too quiet. Tora gives Ani his patent creepy stare again, that _stare_ that makes all men squirm.

“Tell me. _TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS._ ” Tora’s sense of dread and rage make him shake in his seat as he yells at Ani.

Ani takes a big breath: “Degei, please prepare yourself. It is not good. In fact, I am reluctant to tell you.”

“If you don’t tell me, so help me, I will f*cking snap your neck.” The ferocity in which Tora says this makes Ani blanch. But he continues…


	10. Beyond Sorrow, Beyond Pain… What the F*ck is There?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth about Poppy is revealed. After arriving in Moonbright, Tora is desperate to find her to see if its really true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story continues!! To reiterate, I had previously asked for feedback on the MPL Facebook groups, so I thank those of you who did! Not only is it based on MPL, obviously, it has a few Asura’s Bride elements to it as well.
> 
> Again, not beta read. No smut, minor fluff, but lots of Tora’s potty mouth, references to violence and clan life, sexual assault is inferred, one minor spoiler for season 1 finale, and characters and settings all based upon the works of Lilydusk.
> 
> Content warning for implied sexual assault.
> 
> Japanese terms in this chapter:
> 
>  _Degei_ \- as used in Asura’s Bridge by Lilydusk = “Younger Brother”
> 
>  _Ani_ \- per Google, means “Brother”
> 
>  _Josei_ \- per Google, means “woman” (also per Wikipedia, a genre of manga focused on women’s interests)
> 
>  _Koibito_ \- per Google, means “lover” or “sweetheart”

“This man, her koibito, attempts to woo her back. But when he tries, it goes horribly wrong. Since she lived in the Clan city for almost a year, he believed she was truly an experienced woman of…loose morals. That she was ready for his affections. But of course she was not. He…damages her, beyond repair, beyond hope. And despite what happens, despite the fact the josei is a chaste and honest women, this Jewelry man blames _her_ for all of it. He claims she was sending him “overt signals” upon her return. That he was the real reason she came back. How wrong he was, and she tried to tell him this, but he would not listen to her. And—“

Tora put up his hand, signaling Ani to stop talking. He did not need to hear anymore. He _knew_ that f*cking shit was a complete utter bastard because of what he had done to Poppy _before_ , so Tora is devastated to learn about this alternative hell. The rage he feels is beyond measure— _That motherf*cker is DEAD_. 

The train pulls into the Moonbright station, and Tora and Ani get off. 

“Degei, she now lives with her grandmother, and works as a part-time librarian at the local college.”

Despite what he just learned, and how much he wants to pound the shit out if that f*cker, he is relentless in his need to see her. To _touch_ her. There is still a part of him that simply doesn’t believe a word of what Ani has told him. 

“I need to see her. I NEED TO TALK TO HER.” Tora insists.

“Degei, I do not believe that is wise. **_She does not know you_**. She is fearful of all men now. You should not see her, and you should stay away.” 

Tora just looks at him. _Yeah, that is **not** happening_.

Tora walks from the platform into the Moonbright train station depot, looking for a map of the town, to find where the community college this Ani dude mentioned is located. He is going to find her and talk to her, and it will be okay. It just has to be. His intense feelings and extreme fatigue are fast pushing him to a breaking point.

He finds a printed guide to Moonbright, including a map, in a weird-ass cabinet adjacent to the station's back door. He sees that the college is a mere five miles away. Before even consulting the chonky man, Tora flies out the back door and starts running again.

“Degei! Wait, you must—“ 

But Tora doesn’t even look back, running at an even brisker pace than before. 

He makes his way to the campus pretty quickly, and Ani, bless him, is only 5 minutes behind him. _Badass mother. Still don’t know how this f*ck can keep up._

Tora walks onto the campus grounds, moving building to building, seeking the library. He eventually finds it and goes inside. As ever, Ani is right on his tail. 

Tora enters the building, and walks over to the main desk, where an elderly woman sitting there, quietly reading a book.

“Cuse me. I need to find Poppylan Wilkes. Where can I find her?”

The woman looks up at him, and replies: “Excuse me young man, but who are you? How do you know Miss Poppy?” 

He takes a split second, just a moment to figure out what to say about how he knows her ( _it’s complicated?_ ), and since he doesn’t reply right away—and because he honestly looks disheveled, a sweaty mess—the older woman is leery, and reaches for her phone. “I’m going to call security. Now.”

“No, please. _Please_ ,” He begs her. ”I need to speak to her. Where is she?” He looks at her with a desperate expression, hoping she will not dial that phone. 

She pauses for several seconds and relents, reluctantly and quietly putting the receiver back on the phone’s cradle. He didn’t know how the f*ck this woman didn’t go through with her threat. But is nonetheless grateful. _Whew_.

But the woman then speaks up. Damned if he knows why she trusts him enough to tell him, but she does: “She works on the fifth floor, in the Classics section. But you cannot go up there without identification. If you can provide me with some ID, I can allow you to enter the main library.”

Shit. He has no blasted ID, no wallet, and, well, he didn’t exist, really, right? _F*ck_. Ani suddenly appears behind Tora, and steps up to the desk, shoving Tora out of the way. He begins speaking with this woman, and while she is distracted with Ani, Tora sneaks away, looking for a way to get his ass up to the fifth floor. Deciding it was just too risky to take the elevator, he bolts his way through the door of the first stairwell he finds, and starts climbing.

 _PLEASE. PLEASE._ He pants, as he takes the stairs two at a time. He is beyond nervous, but knows he is so close to seeing her; to feeling that sense of calm he always feels when she is near him; to feeling that f*cking relief. Taking deep breaths, he arrives on the fifth floor, pausing. _Almost there, sweetheart_.


	11. Upstairs, Downstairs… What’s the F*cking Difference?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tora finds Poppy and is devastated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story continues!! To reiterate, I had previously asked for feedback on the MPL Facebook groups, so I thank those of you who did! Not only is it based on MPL, obviously, it has a few Asura’s Bride elements to it as well.
> 
> Again, not beta read. No smut, minor fluff, but lots of Tora’s potty mouth, references to violence and clan life, sexual assault is inferred, one minor spoiler for season 1 finale, and characters and settings all based upon the works of Lilydusk.
> 
> Japanese terms in this chapter:
> 
>  _Degei_ \- as used in Asura’s Bridge by Lilydusk = “Younger Brother”
> 
>  _Ani_ \- per Google, means “Brother”

As he makes his way up the stairs and then through the fifth floor stairwell door, Tora looks for any signs that indicate where the “Classics” section might be. Lo and behold, it is on the far end of the floor, and he moves quietly in that direction. He moves aisle by aisle, seeking her out. Finally. FINALLY he finds her. There is no mistaking that golden brown hair, pulled into a low ponytail, with her back to him. Not 50 feet away. 

He can’t control himself. He stops and blurts out, “POPPYLAN!”

She startles at the sound of his voice, quickly turning around to face him. Those beautiful caramel eyes are there, behind big glasses, but after staring at her, he notices that they honestly seem… a bit dull. Spacey? Frightened? Was his feisty hamster not there, anywhere?

“Bobby, thank god I found you. I needed to see you. You wouldn’t believe the day I’ve had!” Tora moves to go to her.

But seeing him, so tall, so BIG, and walking determinedly towards her, she gives out a strong yip, turns away from him, and starts moving away at a rapid pace, pushing the book cart she had been working with behind her to block his access to her.

“Wait, Poppy. BOBBY! It’s me! It’s Tora, sweetheart!”

Poppylan, his beautiful Poppylan, turns back to him again, but again she seems...so very different. She’s wearing dull clothes, has a sullen but scared expression on her face, and definitely devoid of that spark; her tenacity seemed gone. _Where the f*ck was his Bobby, the feisty little hamster?!?_

She spoke to him, then, with just a mere hint of that feisty shit attitude he fell in love with, but, it’s most likely because she’s panicked, so with a desperate squealing voice, she speaks to him: “Who are you? What do you want? I don’t know you. Please, I’m going to call campus security if you don’t leave me alone!” 

It was then that Ani appeared, and before Tora could move again, slapped his hand on Tora’s shoulder to stop him from walking any closer to her. Tora roughly shoved Anakin's hand off his shoulder, “F*ck off, chonk. I need to talk to her.”

“But remember, Degei. She does not know you. She has _never met you. YOU WERE NEVER BORN_.”

Poppy looked back and forth between them, in complete disbelief at what she was witnessing. Within moments, though, she again turned away and rapidly ran off. It was most likely she was not going to come back out any time soon. 

Tora looked at the space she just left, longingly, and felt...devastated. That big ass f*cker was right. The things he has revealed to Tora have been indeed f*cking brutal. That all this shit could change, did change, actually most of it was now WORSE because...he was never _born_? F*ck— that was honestly astounding. 

But this? His Poppylan? This change in Poppy? What happened to her, what the _hell_ had she actually gone through? Despite her lack of exposure to the Clan, to him? The plain and simple truth was the worst, the most unsettling, awful thing he had ever had to contemplate, let alone actually witness. Now, he could barely breathe. 

He quietly turned around, and slowly went back down the stairs and out the library’s front doors. F*ck if he knew whether or not security was on its way, and he didn’t f*cking care. He wandered out onto the campus grounds, and then sat down under a huge Japanese maple tree, completely dejected.

Ani, like a bad penny, appeared mere moments later. This f*cktwat will not leave him alone. SIGH. _Now what?_


	12. What Say You, motherf*cker?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After seeing Poppy, and the long day he had, Tora has to come to a decision. Does he go back to the things the way they were, or not?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE! I decided to add an epilogue! So, an extra chapter! I’ll get it finished and uploaded as soon as I can!
> 
> The story continues!! To reiterate, I had previously asked for feedback on the MPL Facebook groups, so I thank those of you who did! Not only is it based on MPL, obviously, it has a few Asura’s Bride elements to it as well.
> 
> Again, not beta read. No smut, minor fluff, but lots of Tora’s potty mouth, references to violence and clan life, sexual assault is inferred, one minor spoiler for season 1 finale, and characters and settings all based upon the works of Lilydusk.
> 
> Japanese terms in this chapter:
> 
>  _Degei_ \- as used in Asura’s Bridge by Lilydusk = “Younger Brother”
> 
>  _Ani_ \- per Google, means “Brother”

Ani began to bombard him with questions: “So, Degei, what say you? _Do you really wish you had never been born?_ Do you wish to remain here and now? Do you want things to stay the same? Or do you wish to recant your prayer to Ishrikhara, and go back to life the way it was?”

Tora just stared at him, but finally replied, “I’m gonna need a moment or two before I can possibly answer, Anakin.”

“As you wish. You have all the time in the world to make this decision, Degei.”

Tora then sat quietly, thinking back through his day—waking up, unsettled, in the parking garage, meeting Ani, Quincey not at the penthouse apartment, all the shit chonky ass Ani had told him about everything else, and especially the shit with Poppy. 

And he continued to sit there for quite some time, long enough that he suddenly noticed Poppylan exit the library and walk off towards her destination, whatever the f*ck it might be. He almost got up to follow her, but for whatever reason, he sat and watched her instead.

She was moving and acting so…not like Poppy. At first glance, she seemed like she was before, but, as Tora kept observing her, he realized he was wrong. She did not seem well, not at all… She was wearing drab, dark clothes that looked like a bunch of burlap sacks, covering her from head to toes. F*ck—Bobby— _his Bobby_ —moved so slowly, painfully limping, as she moved across campus out of sight. She seemed so dour and lifeless. 

_What the actual f*ck?!?_ He still didn’t get it. _Why wasn’t Bobby better off without knowing him? Without being exposed to the Balthuman clan?!?_ The mere idea of this utter sh*t was simply f*cking incomprehensible. But he just witnessed first hand the consequences of how Poppylan became so…messed up without knowing him, and repercussions of all those things he had a hand in, relating to Poppy. Even though he had serious doubts about all the bullshit Ani had been feeding him all day, he had to admit it had been beyond upsetting to witness Poppy this way.

True or not, real or not, Tora did not know how he could even deal with any of it, and, you know, decide—make up his mind. He had already thought about all the other factors, but for whatever reason, they didn’t seem to hold as much weight in his decision making as seeing Poppylan. 

He couldn’t even begin to quantify how much death and destruction he meted out during his time with the Clan. And always did his best not to think too much about the torture and conditioning he endured from Vincent. But Ani telling him that it seems to that things would be even worse in so many different ways if he weren’t there? That is just f*cking nuts.

He didn’t have to think too much more or wait any longer either. He knew what choice he had to make. For Gyu, for Quincey, hell, for _himself_ , but most of all, because of her. _For her_. She was so worth it, after all.

“OI. Ani. Anakin. I’ve made up my mind.”

“Yes, Degei? What did you decide?”

“I think...I want things to go back the way they were,” he mumbled to Ani. 

He couldn’t believe he actually said it out loud, but he knew he had to make this choice. Tora needed them to come back, whole, as they were before, all of them. And just so he could take him out? Yes, even Vincent F*ckin Balthuman. Even to redeem that f*cktwat Goliath. But, most of all, if I can have her. He just had to make this choice. For me, for us, for HER.

He looked into the eyes of this Ani f*ck, and breathed a sigh of relief. His eyelids became so heavy, and before he let himself fall asleep, under that Maple tree, he said it. Ani listened to Tora say it, knowing Ishrikhara triumphed.

“Ani, I think I want it back. After all, it’s a f*cking wonderful life.”


	13. Epilogue:  “The Blade that Deals Death Becomes the Sword that Saves Lives”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fitting epilogue for the whole shebang (I hope)...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See notes at the end. Bless you all.

Ani observes Tora lean against the Japanese maple tree and fall asleep. Within moments after he does, Tora vanishes in a poof and crackle of blue sparks. Even though Ani did not perhaps catch or even understand the sarcasm in Tora’s response to him ( _It’s a f*cking wonderful life_ indeed), Ani thought the exercise was indeed a success. Not long after Tora vanishes, so does Ani. He has much to tell his master.

In the lowlights of the basement cave of the Fallen Angel club, Ani arrives and emerges from within a shower and sizzle of red flames. He moves before Ishrikhara’s iconic statue, glistening in all its glassy glowing blue glory.

Looking up to the serene angelic-looking face, he kneels and calls to his master, reciting the pledge to bring him forth—“The Oath of the Fallen,” as inscribed for all to read on the base of the iconic statue itself:

“I say to you, Ishrikhara, Protector of the Ones who’ve slipped beneath the cracks...I pledge the oath… ‘We the Fallen hereby declare that we bow to none but our own and as others rise so we shall fall till it’s time to reclaim our throne. Glory be to pain. Glory be to shame.’”

!/

As Ani finishes the pledge, a bright orange flame comes to life from within the glass sculpture, filling the cave with ebullient light. A loud deep booming voice responds to him:

“What say you, servant? What is the verdict for the young one, the Fallen Angel who lost his way?”

The orange flame flickers and pulses in concert with the voice as it booms and echoes throughout the cave, now empty of revelers.

“I did as you commanded, great one. But the verdict honestly remains to be determined, even though he recanted his wish. Regardless, I believe, master, you can claim this as a victory.” 

“Yes, all has been restored. You have seen to that. But you seem unsure. You revealed to him what the world would be without him in it?”

“Yes, master, and for quite a long spell, I thought it might not matter.”

The flame flickered on, in silence, waiting for Ani to keep going. 

“Explain.”

Ani chuckles and then shares more.

“He did not seem to care about the fate of the world—not the Balthuman Clan, Narin City, his brother or friends, not even the death of the filth who tormented him. He seemed unmoved at the fact that his ink was gone, particularly when he noticed the Balthuman branded “collar” had vanished from his neck, or that the things he had been doing for the Clan never happened. He never even mentioned his own suffering and any pain he endured. He never expressed relief of any kind, outwardly. He was particularly unmoved. It was not until he found out all of it AND the fate of the joisei, this Poppylan, that he realized he had to reconsider. It was as though a supporting beam for your temple ceiling had too much weight to bear and snapped.”

“Can you guess why, my servant?”

“She clearly means a great deal to the man.”

“Yes, the affection he has for the joisei has been evident for some time. She too is a Fallen Angel of a sort. But it is much more than that. They do not know it themselves, but they are soulmates. He cannot fulfill his destiny if she is not there to temper his soul, and provide balance to their world. And they must join together to further the Yeke family to serve me and to reclaim the throne. If you could not tell, know this: Young Yeke, he is a good man, a pure soul, who is being forced to do unpure things. More than once has he endured great personal pain and shame. But making this claim, serving this purpose, and seeking balance, it will be difficult for him. He will continue to face trials in his life, but with the joisei by his side, serving as the balm to calm the Tiger, he will find strength and courage to endure, until such a time he can do it.”

Ani, listens, and then comments, “Great one, based on what I have witnessed, it has been made clear that his worth is considerable. To learn what happens—or rather what could have happened—without his presence alone is astounding, and not just for the young joisei. The situation was completely worse for **_everyone_**.”

“Ah, you now must perceive the wisdom of what was revealed—the reasoning to why I answered his prayer, now, if not just to demonstrate to him his worth. You know, he would recite this prayer many times, to his great shame, when he was a brave, young boy.... Anyways, many in my realm speak about how best to temper the misdeeds of men in the mortal world, but the truth of it? There must be a man who triumphs over evil but at the same time, does so in ways that many mortals perceive to be just as evil or corrupt. The simplest example you must have noticed is how he protects the joisei as much as possible from knowing the full truth of what he does for the Balthuman hound; he does so for virtuous reasons, even if she herself already knows the truth of it.”

Ani nods, and waits for his master to continue.

“The _Hagakure Kikigaki_ plain states, ‘...the blade that deals death becomes the sword that saves lives.’ Often I can hear his thoughts, how he believes he is just a weapon, and perhaps he is in many ways, but it is so much more than that—he has tremendous strength, and he also believes that in order to defeat the evil in his world, whether it be Balthuman or some other Clan cretin, he simply cannot stand by and do nothing. It may be a mere whisper in his consciousness now, my steward, but he holds such power. “

“Master—“

The voice sighs loudly, and the orange flame glows quite brightly for a few moments. 

“He is so like the greatest of his ancestors, King Ulaan, the Great Uniter of Narin, who himself faced much the same trials as young Yeke, and he had his Jade Doll, his Queen, Yuwa who served with him and the supported throne in much the same way that Miss Poppylan will do for the young Tiger. I know that the Yeke lineage has indeed faltered since Ulaan’s time. But do you do grasp that—or who—is now before us, my servant? 

Ani, responds, “Ah, yes, this host body was the older brother of the King. As I have searched his mind, I can see the truth of it. The young one is practically a mirror image of the King. And yes, master. I understand now.” Ani stands, with a red glow in his eyes. 

“Anyways, he is—and has been—truly been coming into his birthright. There has not been a worthy Yeke family member poised to take power since King Tsagaan, who as you know, was banished into exile in the 18th century. He simply does not know it yet. But know that the Yeke lineage has always served us, my Okrui Inui, and served us well, even if it is in utter defiance. The current goal is to dismantle the Balthuman Clan. As you already know from the Oath, we will reclaim our throne. This young man, Tora Yeke, has endured much pain and shame. And he will be rewarded.”

Silence fills the cave for some time. Finally, the voice summons its servant home: “Come, Okuri Inu, join me by my side until I have need of you again when I may receive another prayer.”

“As you command, Ishrikhara.” 

Ani is no longer...Ani. He has been transformed into a large spectral wolf with large sharp teeth and glowing red eyes. He jumps into the glassy angelic statue. The crackling orange flame fades and becomes a spectral image of a large winged figure, sitting on a throne, now with two rather large red eyed wolves cowering and bowing at his feet. In flashes of red, the cave grows dimmer, as Ishrikahari and his minions return from whence they came.

**Meanwhile, on the other side of Narin City…**

After Tora falls asleep under that maple tree, his reality is indeed reset. He wakes up, still in the parking garage, smashed phone all over the place in front of him, ass sore from falling asleep on the concrete floor, a bit bewildered, feeling as if he had the most vivid dream of his life. 

Then he remembers the relentless texts from earlier in the morning, and groans. But makes a split second decision that will probably get him yelled at: he is going to completely ignore the texts— _F*ck Vincent_.

Leaving the remnants of his pulverized phone behind, he immediately runs up to his apartment to find his burner phone, texting Ronzo that he destroyed yet another phone. 

BB Tora: @Gyu, OI, I know you’re probably just getting home, but I need another one. 

Gyu: @BB Tora, do I have to ask? Same ole shit, different day, am I rite? You know how f*cking difficult and expensive that shit is to get, especially at the last minute

BB Tora: Save it Ronzo. Shit happens. Just get it for me. Top priority over everything else

Gyu: @ BB Tora, alright, alright. Anyways, it’s gonna probably take me all day, if not longer. I know I can contact you on the burner for now.

BB Tora: @Gyu thanks

Tora signs off the burner, and takes a deep breath, flopping down on his crappy gray sofa. Technically, he really needs it ASAP, so he can text Vincent back some f*cking stupid ass excuse for not responding earlier. But for now, he will let it go, Vincent’s wrath be damned. But most of all, he has an overwhelming need, a feeling that he should text Bobby right away, to call her, or rather as though he shouldn’t waste one more moment to see her.

-end(?)-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for leaving Kudos, comments, and generally for reading. I need to go back to writing my other fanfic, currently drafted as Postcard which I hope will be much longer.  
>    
> Anyways, writing this was just a really fun exercise overall! 
> 
> I can’t help but have Kudos of my own! 
> 
> All hail the mistress of MPL and AB, Lilydusk (both are her worlds that she has allowed us to enter, bless her heart), those wonderful Poppy Seeds who run and participate in all of the Facebook groups, and finally all of the many other authors of MPL fanfic on AO3. I particularly have found inspiration in some of my personal favorite fics (I can’t list you all) including:
> 
> *peanutbutterandchelly (stages!!! AHHHH!!!!)  
> [https://archiveofourown.org/users/peanutbutterandchelly/pseuds/peanutbutterandchelly](%E2%80%9C)  
> *JupitersSun (Jungle Fever and Balthuman Heir, ohhhh yes!l; plus the newest AB one which is seriously making me cry!)  
> https://archiveofourown.org/users/JupitersSun/pseuds/JupitersSun  
> *saucytuggles (author of my favorite AB fanfic to date! Oh myyyy!)  
> [https://archiveofourown.org/users/saucytuggles/pseuds/saucytuggles/works?fandom_id=37900783](%E2%80%9C)  
> *BegoniaRex (tiger cubs and a lily for Tora)  
> [https://archiveofourown.org/users/BegoniaRex/pseuds/BegoniaRex](%E2%80%9C)  
> *lunarsugar (a violent affair)  
> [ https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunarsugar/pseuds/lunarsugar/works?fandom_id=37900783](%E2%80%9C)
> 
> Japanese terms in this chapter:
> 
>  _Ani_ \- per Google, means “Brother”
> 
>  _Josei_ \- per Google, means “woman” (also per Wikipedia, a genre of manga focused on women’s interests)
> 
> More on the _Hagakure Kikigaki_ :  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/14204578.Yamamoto_Tsunetomo


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